It has become a tradition for the Bauer-side of the family to gather at my parents' house on Memorial Day (or the day before) for food, fun, laughs, brutal sarcasm, etc. This year, they took a break for various reasons, but I'd like to give a shout out to my dad who I love very dearly. Below is a photo of him from Memorial Day last year. Yes, that's right---he is, indeed, vacuuming the grill with a ShopVac. I love this picture for many reasons, but especially because it demonstrates my dad's intentions to be economical, no matter what the circumstance. Vacuuming rather than scraping saves time and kinetic energy, all the while getting bang for your buck with the ShopVac's versatility.
Part II
My friendships with girls/women/females over the years have perplexed me as I can never seem to maintain a close friendship. Over time, I have considered that my expectations for friendship are too high, or my definition differs, or I attach myself too soon to a person and then am easily disappointed with their "shortcomings". I can look back at situations and realize where things went astray, whether it was me digging myself my own hole, or just plain old-fashioned growing apart, or realizing months later that my first impression of the person was accurate.
For whatever reason over the past few months, I have been contemplating this issue more frequently. I won't go into ALL the aspects of my personality of which I am self-aware, but I will say that I realize it takes me a while (a long while) to truly open up to someone; and when I finally do, it is in cautious little pieces. Call this a trust issue, if you want. I'm still trying to figure it out. Anyways, this time last year, Becca (pictured above) came with me to our annual family Memorial Day celebration. We had become very close friends after working together for 2 years at UNF, visiting grad schools together in NC, and planning a trip to Europe to name a few.It has been about a year since I last spoke with Becca: there was no dramatic fall-out or concrete reason (from what I can gather) for the deterioration of our friendship. Sometimes, I wish there had been some ridiculous argument....something...because it was like one day, everything stopped for no apparent reason. Despite trying to discuss it a few times, Becca dismissed the idea and that was that.
I sat with my thumb up my butt for a while, wondering what the hell happened and how all that time and energy invested in this great thing just seemed to disappear without a second thought on the other person's end. I try not to let experiences like this sway me from creating new friendships, but it's hard. In my bitter state, I notice myself getting annoyed with people (girls, in particular) who have that bond. Juvenile, I know, but I can't help it at this point.
So, I don't really have a point to all of this, other than this time last year, I was hangin' with Becca talking about the place we were going to move into and our plans for Europe. To be cliche, it's funny how much changes in a year.
