Seed-Bearing

After researching different types of "tree fruit", I discovered what this thing is. I also ended up taking the whole thing apart to see if it had a nut/seed inside; it didn't. Just lots of fluff and wispy strands with tiny seeds at the base. It belongs to a Sycamore tree. In general, I have a thing for trees and anything that comes from them. I've been finding these (Sam too) all over the ground. Sam likes to paw at them and then proudly carry them around in her mouth during our walks. Maybe she likes the prickly sensation; who knows.

 Anytime I see something like this, aside from being awed by nature's process, I think about the movie, The Fountain. Anthony introduced me to that movie almost a year ago, and I've been in love with it ever since. It's a beautiful story about life (physical/spiritual), love, and what we perceive death and eternal life to be. Perfectly enough, a tree is central to the story, a tree that represents the Tree of Life in the Garden of Eden. The Queen of Spain sends a conquistador to find this tree and drink the sap/milk from the tree in order to obtain eternal life for her and her country. He succeeds in doing this, but he gains eternal life by becoming part of the tree. Moments after greedily drinking the sap, he begins to grow leaves and tree limbs from his body until it completely consumes him and he becomes part of the earth near the root-base of the Tree of Life. His human form ceases to exist.

Parallel to this story is that of a doctor obsessed with finding the cure for his ailing wife. This mission consumes him so much that he loses prescious time with Izzy who is open and accepting of her fate. At one point, she takes a seed from a tree and plants it. There's a lot more to the story, but after she passes, her husband takes a seed (similar to the sycamore ones that keep showing up) and uses his hands to dig a hole in the snowy earth to plant it.

I'm losing steam with this post because I can't really explain all of the amazing symbolism and messages in this film, but regardless, finding those seeds make me think of my husband and the amazing process that is life. 

Coca-Cola Classic

One of the things Anthony left behind in the refrigerator is half a case of Coca-Cola Classic. When we first started dating, the man would drink 2-3 cans of soda per night (which made me cringe a little). After all, I grew up on diet everything: diet coke, pepsi, sprite, root bear, ginger ale, cream soda, etc. Therefore, regular soft drinks and the like are unfavorable and make me feel more thirsty than before. 

Anthony always buys Coca-Cola Classic cans, and he always drinks it cold,  either straight from the can or over ice in a tall glass. It's become habit for me to steal a sip (well, maybe 2 sips) from his soda while eating dinner together or watching Jeopardy. And over time, I started liking the taste of regular Coke but never enough to open and finish my own can....until recently.

...hopefully, the answer to the origin of this floating hand

Since Anthony has been gone, I've managed to finish off the half-case that was in the fridge. I'm drinking the last one as a type. I enjoy the taste, but I think I have drunk them more for nostalgic purposes than anything else. Yes, only recently have I created memories around this age-old drink, but those memories are precious to me. Since moving up here, Anthony has also ingrained in me his rinse-out-the-can-before-throwing-it-in-the-trash tradition in order to prevent ants; he tells me this is a Florida thing, but I grew up in Florida too and we never did this. Then again, we always had diet drinks.

Purpose

It's no secret that I haven't been particularly motivated to update my blog. But thanks to my friend, April, I have a fresh perspective on how to use my blog over the next few months. As most of you know, Anthony is on deployment. As of tomorrow, we are halfway through! There are thousands of things, moments, experiences, thoughts, feelings, etc. that make me think of my husband...aside from the general Anthony-is-always-on-my-mind stuff which is a given. So, I'm choosing to bring attention/awareness to these instances through the act of writing about them here.  I feel that it's important to bring specific attention to this so that 1. I don't explode with emotion & thoughts, 2. I have a way, other than Skype, to communicate daily happenings, and 3. it's a positive shift in focus, to do something productive with the "I miss him so much!" feelings.

I'm hoping that the last three mos. move along faster than the first three. I'm hoping it's like the school year: the fall drags and the spring flies.

Read if you like.

Love to all.