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7.19.2012

When Your Days are Numbered....

...you tend to pay more attention to the little things, big things, and everything in between. This has at least been true for me as we've recently learned that we are being re-assigned to Biloxi, MS. By recently, I mean we received preliminary word at the beginning of July and official word on 7/18.

Since the preliminary news, my vigilance of experiences with people and places has heightened. This is good! I think I've been somewhat lolly gaggin' around, taking things for granted. I'm thankful for this opportunity to wake up :)

It's taken a good two years for me to take a liking to Northern Virginia. I met some amazing people within my first 6 months of being here, and since then have fostered what I know will be life-long friendships. Even with those initial bonds though, I didn't feel quite at home. It hit me while I was driving down a road I've driven daily: hey, I really like this place. It's beautiful and it's starting to feel like home. Fate would have it that shortly after that "a-ha moment", we'd be set on a path to move somewhere else.

So, I'm accounting for these precious experiences in our last few days in NoVa. Perhaps this is a lesson that each day, each moment should be treated with such care and gratitude.

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07 JUL 2012
Anthony and I spent the evening at April and Nick's. They prepared German food for dinner, and we ate heartily (as I imagine German people do, seeing as how the food is very, well, hearty). After dinner, April, once again, graciously invited me to help her put the kids** to bed. This ritual is so precious to me as I've been part of it off and on since Henry and Regan were infants. And here they are, 2.5yrs. old, getting almost too big to hold and sleeping in toddler beds vs. cribs. This is undeniably one of the things I will miss most about my time in Virginia. April's loving kindness as a mother, her tenderness in the most trying times, is something I love dearly about her. ::sniff::

If you want to know what the crap P. Swayze is doing here,
you'll have to watch the movie.
With the kids on their way to blissful sleep, we sat down to watch the 1989, philosophical-brimming classic, Roadhouse. If you have never seen this gem of a film, put it on your "To-Do" list.

The top 3 lessons I have learned from Roadhouse:
1. "Be nice." (until Dalton tells you it is time to not be nice)
2. "Take the biggest guy in the world, shatter his knee and he'll drop like a stone."
3. Carry your medical records around with you; it saves time.

Pooped. In short: German food is hearty, I miss April already, and Roadhouse.is.amazing.

**April and Nick have beautiful twins: a girl, Regan, and a boy, Henry. I've known them since they were infants. I've been to their 1yr. and 2yr. birthday parties. Without any kids of my own, April taught me a lot...well everything I currently know...about caring for little ones. Being the youngest in my family, I never had younger siblings to care for, so this was all new to me. One of our favorite memories of my child-care skills with H&R involves me putting a diaper on Henry backwards...and it staying in place. I have to take a few seconds and think twice before ever putting a child in a diaper :)


3.15.2011

Flowing

I'm welcoming myself back to Blogger after a month-long hiatus during which Anthony and I made a trip to Florida, had our wedding ceremony, and cruised to the Western Caribbean. All went well, and while I could go on and on about those events in more detail, that's not where my brain is right now. However, if I had to pick one thing to highlight from those events, it would be that Anthony and I were able to truly reconnect. Being out of our regular environment and away from cell phones, internet, etc. offered us some space and time to just be together. For that, I continue to be thankful. 

Speaking of re-connecting, it's great to be back and practicing yoga consistently. While it felt great to be "unplugged" from the world, it felt odd being away from the community at DMY, especially after spending a six-month weekend-intensive teacher training there. Some of us are continuing our training through a mentorship program which offers us an opportunity to dig deeper, to be more specific about our individual teaching styles and see where growth is possible. We have met twice so far, and I feel like I'm learning in leaps and bounds vs. baby steps (not that one is better than the other, but it's just different). But I think much of this has to do with being open and taking action: I was open to learning in teacher training, but the whole "taking action" part was something I did cautiously. I'm learning to just get out of my own way, and it's pretty nifty :) I'm excited to see how this shows up in other parts of my life, like painting and writing.

Ok. Time for bed.  

  

2.08.2011

~Highlights~


Some of what I learned during yoga teacher training @ DMY:
-I tend to slouch in my shoulders which keeps my energy stuck in my  hips (it makes sense, I promise)
-I see and enjoy the advantages of meditating :)
-I love doing high to low push-ups
-My personal power is compacted in my core, and I've been afraid of it my whole life.
-I have a quasi-out-of-body experience when I tap into my power (and it is awesome!)
-I know what my "story" is and how it shows up in my life 1. I'm afraid 2. I'm not good enough 3. You don't get me.
-I can not only recognize this pattern, but I can choose to change it!
-As I become more authentic, my relationships & friendships shift.
-Breathing deliberately brings me into the present moment.
-Doing a vinyasa (flow) and breathing deliberately brings ease to my mind.
-I'm strong.
-There is joy in falling apart (mentally, physically, emotionally).
-I am connected to everyone and everything; there is no hierarchy.
-There is no separation between physical, mental, and spiritual health; all three affect me on a cellular level.
-I have formed lifelong bonds with these people because it is a bond based on truth.
-I feel more like myself, and I feel an awakening.
-I can trust my intuition.
-Feedback (constructive criticism) on a regular basis aids my growth.
-I tend to interchange perception for reality and/or intention for actuality.
-This is only the beginning.

2.05.2011

Why Baptiste?

I've decided to share one of my reflection papers from yoga teacher training. While I've been having some internal conflicts about the cost of some of the programs and the general structure of Baptiste (from a training standpoint), it is where my roots are in yoga. And I adore the practice. I think the resistance that's been coming up is partially excuse-based. Anyhow, here's my messy paper :)  

It is only fitting that the practice of Baptiste Power Vinyasa Yoga was introduced to me through a friend. This speaks to the connection and community of this practice that appealed to me on various levels. This is significant because it parallels some of the basic principles of the practice. From all that I have read, learned, and practiced of this type of yoga, it is about strength through connection—  connection to the mind, body, and soul. Baptiste Power Vinyasa Yoga is built upon the five pillars of breath, upward lifting locks, gaze, heat, and vinyasa. These pillars foster strength within the mind, body, and soul by creating connection between the physical, mental, and spiritual realms of our being; and it is this strength and connection that opens the door to leading a more powerful life.
The philosophy, in brief:
Baron sums up his practice as “free style”.  It is based on a flow or vinyasa of 53 poses which creates the skeleton for a practice that is both unrestricted and dynamic. The flow of this practice allows for anyone to adapt it to the needs of his/her body instead of forcing the body to fit into the practice. But to ground this malleable flow are five, foundational pillars. Breath (ujjayi) is the most important; by coming into your breath, you come into your body. The link with the mind and soul through the present moment is then available. For every movement, there is a breath to keep the life force flowing through the practice. An upward lifting lock from the abdomen (uddiyana) creates core stabilization for all asanas. It channels the life force created through the breath and anchors it in strength from the core. Gaze (drishti), fixing your eyes upon one point, brings the mind from distraction to direction and keeps the body concentrated and balanced. This aids one to come from a place of Samadhi or neutral vision during the flow—dropping judgment, dropping the ego and seeing things as they are for what they are (seeing yourself where you are, for who you are). Another pillar is heat: the room is kept at a temperature of 90-95 degrees with 50% humidity. The heat is used to loosen and relax muscles; the sweat detoxifies and purifies the body; essential organs are rested; and a healing and re-birth occurs as layers of toxins are released from the body. Flow or vinyasa creates the fluid movement from one pose to the next. Baron describes this as “meditation in motion”. The flow brings you out of your mind and into your body, continuing to build heat and boost cardiovascular fitness. These pillars are fostered and fine-tuned over time to fit each person’s body and practice.
Why I chose to teach it:
I chose to teach Baptiste Power Vinyasa Yoga because it is relatable and applicable: this is connection. It brings yoga, a tradition that has evolved over thousands of years, into real people’s lives in a real and tangible way and in real time. Too often, other yoga practice traditions that I tried felt contrived or surrounded by this mysterious haze that only a select few could penetrate. The Baptiste practice is accessible; it takes this age-old, beautiful tradition of yoga and puts it into the vernacular of contemporary society. This does not discredit the value of other yogic traditions, for each has its time, place, and value. However, as a teacher, I feel it is important to be able to readily connect with students through language and experiences so that they can make a connection within themselves. To me, the connection that this practice offers umbrellas all elements involved: the five pillars, the mind-body-spirit, the community, the strength (physical-mental-spiritual). And through connection, I am able to serve, to become a better human being, and to see the light in others.
Another reason I chose to teach this practice is because it presents a basic truth: you have to show up and do the work. This practice is not about what you look like, sound like, or act like; it’s about showing up on your mat and doing the work, being accountable. This simple concept seems somewhat foreign in a society inundated with zero personal accountability and promises of quick fixes, especially when it concerns physical health. When I left the studio after the first time I ever tried Baptiste power yoga, I remember thinking, “I have never sweat so much in my life, and I used every part of my body. What an awesome workout!” However, I soon found that this practice goes far beyond physical transformation. It is common for people to start this practice because of the physical benefits; but for me, shortly after beginning, I realized that any physical “progress” or journey is directly connected to the health of my mind and soul.
This practice brings awareness to the triad of health, again in a very tangible and realistic way. The flow opens up avenues for realization of what seems automatic and commonplace. For example, the breath: throughout the day, it is something the body does automatically, like blinking. Certainly, we can consciously hold our breath or keep our eyes closed, but for the most part, it is practiced without true consciousness. When doing a vinyasa, however, the breath is deliberate. As the body moves and heat is built, you can start to notice how the breath is affected.  Is it short? Shallow? Deep? Forced? Frantic? etc. From here, awareness is brought not only to the breath and body but to the mind—how the mind reacts to certain poses or even to the feeling of the breath being shortened or lengthened, or what the mind tells us we cannot do even though the body is fully, physically capable, or how the spirit and intuition fair with the ego. For me, this simple focus on the breath has brought awareness to my thought patterns and how those patterns surface in my life when I am off of my mat. It has brought awareness to my body and how it reacts to those thought patterns from noticing physical tension to observing my food intake and its effect on how I am feeling emotionally, spiritually. Awareness of why I may be feeling or reacting a certain way makes it less daunting and brings me into the present moment.              
Through this awareness comes transformation: transformation, not through force, but through what Baron describes as peeling away the layers of an onion; in other words, being in the process. This is another reason why I chose to teach this practice. It is moment-to-moment, process-oriented transformation rather than rigid and destination-focused at some unknown point in the future (which doesn’t exist). The practice changes with you and vice versa. There is a freedom in this that is not offered in other routines that count reps, weights, pounds, etc.; for these routines are under the notion that you never quite “get there” which makes it easy for stagnation to set in physically, mentally, and spiritually. It is based on limits/limiting beliefs whereas Baptiste power yoga is based on limitless possibilities. You are not confined; you simply show up as yourself, and the transformation has already begun. It moves one from mindlessness to mindful/purposeful movement of the body, taking you out of your egoist mind and into your body. Through connection, truth, and awareness, transformation­—unique to each person—is possible.
That umbrella of connection to the self through truth, awareness and transformation is, in turn, what brings acceptance of what is. It strips away the “should haves” and “what ifs” and incessant worry by bringing me face-to-face with myself in the present moment. From here, I am able to have true, authentic interactions from a place of acceptance rather than resistance. By accepting what “is” in myself or my own life, I am able to accept what “is” in others; I am able to connect. Baptiste yoga brings me from reaching without for answers to embracing what is within. It is my intention to share this by being a channel through which this practice can be made accessible. It is my intention to serve so that connection can be fostered.        
  

2.03.2011

Power of the Group

I went to the 6am practice this morning at DMY. I'm not a morning person, per say, and I still can't decide if that trait is genetic or an actual, conscious choice. However, I think the days of working 5am-9am at Borders cured me of my beef with waking up anytime before 6:30 in the morning. When it comes to practicing, more than half of the effort is just showing up on the mat. There were about 10-15 people @ the studio this morning, and it was a toasty 100 degrees in there :)

I've done many home practices over the years, some with one other person and others just by myself; but it isn't the same as being with a group of people. It's not really even about being at a studio to practice; it's the energy of being around others, being able to hear each other's breath. It helps me to become more present. I recently finished reading The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. In talking about the group and presence, he writes,


Group work can also be helpful for intensifying the light of your presence. A group of people coming together in a state of presence generates a collective energy field of great intensity. It not only raises the degree of presence of each member of the group but also helps to free the collective human consciousness from its current state of mind dominance. This will make the state of presence increasingly more accessible to individuals...

He goes on to explain that even though the group is powerful, one shouldn't become dependent upon the group or on a "master" teacher for this connection; for you are then identifying with form from without vs. true presence within. This makes perfect, intellectual sense to me. But I still prefer practicing with a group to going through a flow on my own because it's more enjoyable, energizing, juicy. It's harder (or I make it harder) for me to stay focused, be in my body instead of my mind, stay accountable, etc. when it's just me. Why is that? This is something worth exploring. Too often, I use the lack of power of the group as an excuse as to why I'm not doing something be it yoga or painting, to name a couple. I'm noticing where else this shows up in my life; while it's  okay to want to be around others during these activities, I don't want to use it as a crutch. Hmm...
   
  

2.02.2011

I've missed you, Knees and Toes.

I look at the left-hand side of Simply Kate's blog to see that I haven't updated mine in approximately two months. I cringe at seeing this. It feels like another commitment broken (well, it is). Certainly, a lot has been going on since the last entry, but the fact is that I don't make the time and/or trust my intuition when it comes to posting an entry. I have at least 4 drafts from December that I never published. What am I waiting for? I miss writing just for the hell of it, even if it's messy and uninteresting. I have a list of things I wish I'd been sharing over the past 2 months, but I only see the point in picking up with what's actually going on right now.

I just finished one of my last papers for yoga teacher training on Baptiste Power Vinyasa Yoga philosophy and why I chose to teach it. I was making it difficult at first, but then I decided to just write from my heart. I'm such a Type A writer; everything has to sound, look, and flow perfectly. It is rare that I write something and leave it as is. This must come from my 2yrs. as a writing tutor. And I'm certain this is why I have 4, unpublished drafts on queue.

I also spent 10 minutes taking Anthony through a guided meditation this evening. It truly made my day to share that with him. I took a meditation workshop back in December, but this was my first time ever taking someone through a short meditation. My teacher, Sri, works with a foundation called The Art of Living. This is one of the best ways I've seen meditation explained...go here. (It's fun to watch, I promise.) Sri describes meditation as the art of doing nothing. For me, this blew past the mystique surrounding the practice, and I'm eager to learn more, share more about it with Anthony (and anyone else interested). Have you ever tried meditating?

I'm tired, so that's all for now.