Over the past two days, I've been pondering the following: When do or what makes your "true colors" shine (for lack of a better phrase). When do you feel like your core is stimulated? This is the conclusion I have come to so far for myself:
1. When the opportunity to give presents itself: this could be when someone needs a leg-up financially, emotionally, professionally, etc. This is something that has been ingrained in me by my parents and grandparents. For example, my grandparents paid for the hospital bill during one of my mom's pregnancies. When my dad contested, my grampa simply explained that this was an opportunity for him to give. He didn't want to be paid back but instead wanted my parents to help another person in the same way when the time came. And pass the deed on from there.
2. When I'm jogging: I become the most stubborn individual when I'm jogging. If I have a set destination in mind before the cool-down, I MUST reach it...no excuses. It's a little nutty, the thoughts that go through my head when feeling like I want to stop jogging. It's probably a good thing that no one can read my mind. Under no circumstances will I allow myself to stop jogging to rest a few minutes and then start again. In my determined mind, that's a cop out.
3. When I feel ripped off or like some injustice has been done: I magically become assertive in these situations. I suddenly have no problem speaking my mind and letting the other person know that I won't settle for bullshit. Right is right. LB, remember that time in JCPenny's with the gift card?
Anyways, what about you?
8 comments:
I wish I had #1 and #2, but I definitely have #3. I'm ordinarily not an angry or assertive person, but when it comes to business, I expect mine. I don't know where it comes from (I know that I inherited it, but I don't know where inside me it's located since I can't conjure it up any other time). The only thing is that I tend to feel a little guilty afterwards.
I think it's difficult for me to recognize when I'm truly shining because I tend to think it's no big deal or I avoid situations in which I might shine...fear of failure I guess.
I do shine when it comes to playing board or trivia games. I'm just awesome. It might not seem like a big deal, but I have a way of being able to sift through all my memory files and select the right answer. I know how to read people during games too, so if the goal is to get a teammate to guess something, I can figure out how they're thinking. I once got my mom to guess "Submarine" during Password just by saying, "Yellow." Playing trivia games also allows me to show off just how much I know because most of the time I keep that to myself. It's like the one place where I'm allowed to be a know-it-all.
This is a great post...I'll have to keep thinking about it.
Kitkat, your comment is intriguing, particularly the last couple sentences. What do you feel like when you are teaching, I wonder. Is that an outlet for your knowledge? I know teaching is not as objective as answering board game questions, but still, it's a position in which you are required to know and relay your stuff. "...most of the time I keep that to myself"<--I also wonder what makes you keep all that inside. Rhetorical questions. Hope it doesn't seem like I'm interrogating you :)
"No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!"
Anyway, I understand what you're asking and why because it seems like sharing knowledge is what teaching is all about. I think it's a little different because I can tell a classroom full of students what a thesis statement is, but to get them to produce one is a different task. They can understand what I'm saying and still not quite get it. Sometimes I'm successful and getting them to produce a certain quality of work, and sometimes I'm not. And even if they do produce something really good, can I take credit for it? If I were to define my teaching philosophy, then I'd say I think of myself more as a guide than a source of information.
p.s. Regarding keeping "that to myself," I think I learned long ago that I was smarter than the average bear, and I felt a little freakish about it. I'm certainly no genius, and most of the stuff I know is complete trivia, but I developed a habit of preferring to fit in and make others comfortable. Now, because I am a teacher, it's cool to be geeky and smart, but as I said before, my job doesn't allow me to spew forth all the crap I know on a regular basis.
I definitely can align with your #1. Helping people is what makes me tick. If I don't feel like I am helping anyone or making an impact, I tend to feel like it is time to make a change, especially related to work. In the trivial way, I love buying gifts for people. To me it is fun to find something that someone can use and will appreciate or is just fun!
#2, I really dislike jogging and running so can't relate to that one!
What else? -
My #2: I think I really shine with kids because I just enjoy being around them. They are very refreshing and also fearless, in many ways, because they don't know all of the stuff in the world to be afraid of yet.
My #3: I know that I typically end up leading and shining through those experiences. I love a challenge so it is fun for me to test myself and see if I can pull something off successfully while teaching others and building a team atmosphere.
Well, your father has certainly been generous to me... actually everyone in our family has. And I've tried very hard to pay that forward as well.
Where we grew up there was always one location that flooded during a heavy rain. We'd always ride our bikes down and help push the cars that got stuck there.
Now that I think about it, whenever I see someone with a stalled car I want to help them push it off the road. I just bothers me not to help out. What a wonderful legacy our parents have left us.
My knees won't let me jog. I used to like it, but now it just hurts me. I'm envious when I see people jogging. Wish I could be out there.
As for #3, I have found my passive/aggressive sarcasm comes in very handy. I am amazed at what I am allowed to say when people know I'm joking... but not really. Somehow the truth wrapped in a punchline is funny, even to the person being punched.
How is my core stimulated? A very interesting question...
I am emotionally moved when someone does a kindness to another. In fact, when I retell the story I usually get all choked up. Why I am moved I don't know, and it can be over the silliest thing. For example, many years ago I was watching Jeopardy, back when you could only win 5 days in a row, then you had to leave the show. At final Jeopardy the reigning champ, already a 4 day winner, was leading by a lot of money. The second place guy answered correctly and wagered enough to be $100 over the reigning champ. When it was the reigning champ's turn he also answered correctly. Instead of wagering enough to take sole possession of the lead, he only wagered $100 to tie with the other player. The reigning champ knew he couldn't play anymore, as it was his fifth day, so he tied the other player so the other player could come back the next day. (I got choked up while writing this.) As a Catholic, I should expect people to be kind to others, but fundamentally, I guess, I know they don't have to be and I don't expect them to be kind.
Another area that stimulates my core is solving a problem. I get a lot of joy out of taking a lot of time, investigating all the angles, and coming up with an explanation of the problem and how to solve the problem. Very cool.
Finally, I stimulate my core by studying or gaining knowledge. I find it very rewarding to read about science and religious topics. Every time I crack open a book I am expecting to have God reveal some marvelous item of His creation. Doubly cool.
LB-Yes, you do light up around children. I've always admired that about you as you seem to have an immediate connection with them. Honestly, I think you never lost your child-like fearlessness.
Uncle Pete-So, you "want to help them", but do you? This seems to be a repeat of your "wanting to/thinking about doing the dishes" discussion on your blog comments. Sorry, I had to go there :)
Uncle Paul-I remember many times when grampa would be retelling a story and get choked up with emotion. Actually, now that I think of it, pretty much all of my aunts and uncles on the Bauer side have that reaction when talking about a kind act (even Peter gets choked up over THINKING about doing the dishes or helping someone move their car off the road. Sorry again, Uncle Pete) ;)
I'm also stimulated by solving problems. As I get older, I'm finding how much I enjoy working in situations or environments that need improvement. I get kind of giddy over identifying a problem and then implementing ways to improve or eliminate it. We're nerds.
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