Let's be frank...

To be honest I've been a little down lately, and I can't say why, exactly. At first, I thought it was because I'm coming off of some anti-depressant medication, but after more consideration, I don't think that's the reason. I've been coming off of it for almost a month now and I've felt completely "normal" (if there is such a thing, as my high school lit teacher would say) and great. Maybe it's the holidays...maybe it's the 2 week down-time from work...maybe it's my recent bouts with some soul-searching...unanswered questions, frustrating dreams, lack of routine outside of school. Yeah, I'll chalk it up to those things.

On another note, I've been meaning to write about our faculty Christmas party which was a couple of weeks ago. It was fabulous, and being around co-workers OUTSIDE of our 4 walls was refreshing and healing. We become more than our job titles. Our staff is composed of a wide range of age and ethnic groups which is enlightening on many levels. During the past year & a half at S.P. working within the African American culture, I've discovered how much more open they are in some ways. I can't really find a word to describe it, so I'll use a few: fun, accepting, brave, willful, succinct. In short, there's a lot less bullshit :) and you are accepted for who you are, where you came from. Your past is relevant in that it makes you who you are today, and not in the sense that it can be used against you. There's little shame or doubt and much more determination to do the best with what you've got. I think this has made or is making me a stronger person, someone who is more confident about how I've come to be who I am...and who I am becoming.

Now, I'm not trying to dog on white people, but it is different. I think white culture is so much more uptight, for lack of a better word. There's so much anxiety, expectation, guilt, disappointment, self-loathing. I'm not saying those things don't exist in African American culture, but it doesn't seem as prominent.

So what am I saying? I guess I'm saying I appreciate those aspects of their culture. It's helping me evolve.

Drivin' that Train

Okay, so I feel like a total schmo (define that as you please) for not posting anything in the past 2 months. I do, however, have legitimate reasons. First and foremost, I haven't had internet at home until very recently (try arguing with that one). Secondly, I've been dealing with a lot, including a move, an online course, and a puppy. So I'll break this up into categories for briefing, and more details will come later.

Move: I am, again, a resident of Riverside. I LOVE this area. Everything is within walking distance, the neighborhoods are old and therefore have tree-lined, canopied streets, and I'm only 3 miles from work. I'm in a quadriplex, and my 3 neighbors are great. I am eating up this whole living-alone-thing. I feel like I need this "selfish" me-time now more than ever.

Online course: Because I was a non-college-of-education major, I am required to take 15 credit hours of certain education courses. My cheapest option was through the University of Phoenix online. I just finished the first course (mind you, these are three-week, three credit hour courses. Ugh.). I'm all about teaching myself things, but I'm not all about paying $500+ to do that. Needless to say, I am not a fan, so far, of this whole online course thing. I'm not even sure why they have a professor facilitating it. They should just save themselves the money and have computer monitor your posts, entries, etc. It was cool getting to know some of the people, but I learn more by actually interacting with the students and professor(s).

Puppy: On Halloween, one of my 4th graders came to my room with a puppy hidden in his jacket. His homeroom teacher told him to put her back outside, but he came to me instead. He desperately wanted to keep her, but his mom wouldn't have it. So, I took her in. Samantha is about 3 months old now...I'm not sure if she's a rottie or a doberman or...? I guess it'll be a surprise. I've wanted a dog for a long time, and Sam seemed to just fall in my lap. It's fun having a puppy, but it's also teaching me a lot about patience that I haven't learned yet from teaching :) Imagine that.

More to come. And Uncle Pete, THANK YOU for keeping your blog up and running.

Close Calls

Saturday night at Neptune Beach, 8:30pm:
Dylan and I were walking toward the shops/restaurant area of Neptune Beach when we heard a loud crash of glass, followed by yelling. To our right were two men (who looked like bums) in front of someone's house. My guess is that they threw something at the window. (Walking faster now.) Before I knew it, there were 2 police cars pulled up in front of the house. An officer immediately got out of his car with his gun cocked telling one of the guys to get down on the ground. The other man had hurried off down the street in the direction Dylan and I were headed. (Walking even faster, moving to the other side of the road.) "Get down on the ground or I'll put a bullet in your head!", yelled the officer. (Holy shit, we're going to get shot). "Where did your friend go? Huh?! WHERE IS HE??" The guy, now on the ground, must have mumbled something about Dylan and I because the next thing I heard was the cop yelling, "Who? The guy and the girl?! The guy and the girl?!" We were the only "guy and girl" in sight, so, thanks bum, for pinning it on us. It was at this point that the 2nd police officer came running towards Dylan and me, but thankfully, this officer was not as hyped up as his partner. He asked us to stop and Dylan informed him that the other guy had sneaked into the parking lot to our immediate right and was wearing a red shirt. Within 2 minutes, the cop found and cuffed him.

Today at school, 1:20pm:
It was an early release day, so I reported to my post at the bus port. Arriving before everyone else, I opened the back gates. Daycare vans also pick up students in this area, and usually, they're not even really "vans", rather an SUV or personal car. A junky, red, 2-door Ford Explorer pulled up just as I was opening the gate. Not recognizing this vehicle as a regular, I went over to the window to ask who they were here to pick up. To my surprise, there were two, middle-aged white men with scruffy beards, overalls, and worn baseball caps, one driving and one in the back seat. I'm sorry, but they looked like total rednecks.

As I approached the window, they didn't roll it down, Instead there was this awkward interaction of me waiting for the window to roll down and them making some hand gestures I didn't understand. I decided to walk away and leave them be when the man in the back seat knocked on the window and held his Jacksonville Sherriff's Office badge up to the glass. Finally, the driver rolled down the window and said, "We just need to sit here for a minute and look like we're doing something. We need to look busy." It was then that I looked out to the main street and saw some men walking by each other. Drug deal, maybe. Then he said, "And what're you doing out here? You don't someone to take you off the street!" I explained we were about to start dismissal and left it at that. They departed a few minutes later.

Today at school, 1:35pm:
Still at the bus port, I looked over to the street again to see some 4th grade walkers on their way down the sidewalk just outside the fence of our school. Before I knew it, 2 of the students starting throwing punches and kneeing each other in the stomach. I dropped everything--my walkie, notebook, etc.--and ran over to the fence to break it up. Before I could get there, they took off running down the street. I guess they weren't hurt enough to be unable to run home.

Argh.

Boys

Yesterday, one of my 4th grade girls (let's call her Jada) came by to see me in the middle of the school day. I'm a little worried because these visits are becoming a habit. It all started2 weeks ago. This is the second year I've been teaching Jada, and I must note that she is one of my best students. I've never had any reason to reprimand her, no even for being too chatty. She had an outburst during class (after being provoked by another student) which involved her throwing a pencil across the room. I was very stern with her, mostly because I was shocked at her behavior, but also because she kept shrugging her shoulders when I'd ask her questions and then say, "I don't care". Grrrrr. Anyways, I kept her after class to discuss things one-on-one and she immediately burst into tears. Through her sobs, she explained that another student wouldn't leave her alone and was always making comments about her.

**Sidenote: Is there some psychological theory out there that explains the retarded-ness of the type of young boys who pick on girls to show affection? I know it all seems childish and simple, but even when I was Jada's age, I thought the whole I-like-you-so-I'm-going-to-make-your-life-miserable affection method was stupid. **

Anyways, we talked through the issue and got to the bottom of her out-of-character behavior. Progress. Since then, Jada has been coming to my room everytime someone is bothering her (hence the habit). When she showed up yesterday, she was wearing a jacket...a classmate's jacket...a boy classmate's jacket.

Oh my goodness, how the memories unfolded. I was immediately sucked back into the days of middle school when if a boy let you wear his sweatshirt or jacket, it meant he really liked you. (Well, that's how it was in my freakishly small private school.) I couldn't help but grin a little at the thought of such silliness. But it was a good silliness. And it intrigues me how seeing one of my girls wearing a boy's jacket triggered that particular memory which I haven't thought about in many, many years.

Recently

Here are 2 images of a painting I started. I think I'm on to something, though I've thought that during the last 3 series I've tried to start. I'm going to stick this one out for at least 6 paintings. This involves some collage, watercolor, pencil and memories.

Untitled No. 1
-mixed media on BFK

Untitled No. 1 detail

Off Gassing

The title of this post refers to a few things:

1. Has anyone else noticed the odor that emits from every Abercrombie and Fitch store, no matter what town, city, or state? I swear they pump their cologne through the vents, along with that god-awful techno music. I have never purchased anything from their stores and plan to keep it that way.

2. I've been eating Fiber One bars every morning. I'll leave the rest to your imagination. But, it's working.

3. I rode my bike about 16 miles today along the beaches. It was strange because as I passed through certain neighborhoods, there were waves of some smell that reminded me of old books. I love opening up an old book and smelling the pages. Uncle Paul, is this some chemical phenomenon?

4. I need to vent a little...orally. I'm tired, somewhat physically, but more so mentally.
I'm tired of feeling overly responsible for other people's feelings and then beating myself up for feeling that way, of having the pressure at work to make every single moment of teaching a lesson jam packed with excitement (I'm sorry, but like it or not, there are some concepts/skills that are just plain boring. It's like learning your multiplication tables: once you learned that, you could do pretty much anything in math.), of politicians who have never been educators spouting off "solutions to change and improve" our education system, and of bills. The end of no. 4.

Suggestions, anyone?: My co-worker and I are trying to come up with a story to base a Christmas-ish play from for our students. So far, we've considered The Clown of God and A Christmas Carol. We're finding road blocks with the former due to the fact that at the end of the story, the guy drops dead, and also, we'd need a killer student juggler to play the part.

Let me know if you think of any other well-known stories with a positive message.

Shrimp Fried Lice, anyone?

For the record, I know that the title is culturally insensitive. Apologies.

But it almost perfectly describes my "almost meal" the other night... minus the "shrimp fried" part. And instead of lice it was flour beetles (which kinda look like lice). I've been having a dilemma with flour beetles for the past few months. It's a wonderful thing---opening up your airtight (I need bugtight, people) canister of flour only to find it contaminated with little red beetles. And then to find that the corn starch, bread crumbs, oatmeal, and any other grainy food have been infected too. I cleaned out and sprayed the pantry and let it sit empty for a while just to be sure they were all dead. No sign of them for weeks, until last night.

I was boiling rice and as I was stirring it, I noticed these dark specs rotating around. They ended up being bits of discolored rice...phew. And then I noticed some stringy white things. What was first thought to be some grainy residue from the rice ended up being flour beetle maggots (which were still alive, mind you). I quickly retrieved the bag of rice from the pantry and sure enough, there they were: many, many flour beetles wiggling between grains of uncooked rice. Fabulous.

So now I'm at a loss over a few things...
1. My rice had to be thrown away.
2. I don't know how to prevent or keep flour beetles from infesting my food.
3. Maggots are indestructible. Boiling water doesn't do the trick. Neither does muriatic acid, bleach, or other household chemicals. (I know the acid and bleach don't work because my mom and I had a bout with maggots years ago upon cleaning out a trash can in the garage)

I'm open to suggestions. I've been told that if the plant where the grain products were processed was infested, then the eggs/maggots/beetles are already present in the food when you purchase it. But I find it hard to believe that several of the grain products I have bought and or replaced over the past few months are all infested.

Yum.

Explorations in Common Sense

The title of this post should be the name of a professional development workshop provided by Duval County for teachers needing just that...common sense. I often find that the frustrating things that happen with adults during the school day have much to do with lack of this much valued characteristic. As a joke, if someone would do something stupid, my mom would tap her index finger to her head and say "Kidneys!" That's what I felt like doing today to a co-worker, only my common sense stopped me from causing an argument. Or I could have said "Did you grow up in a mayonnaise jar?" as my high school history teacher said many a time. I won't get into the dumb details of the situation. So that's all.

On another note, school is going well (still!!). Hooray! I have my challenging classes, but overall it is a completely different experience from last year. Oh a whim, I came up with this little song and dance about line variety (zigzag, wavy, vertical, broken, horizontal, etc) for my 1st and 2nd graders. It involves some singing, clapping, and wiggling. The kids love it more than I thought they would. This is good news for me because they're having fun AND memorizing the names and directions of lines. Woot. When you're so focused on a high-structure classroom management plan, it is easy to forget that acting silly and nutty can be one of the best ways to engage everyone.

That's all for now.

Catalyst

Over the past two days, I've been pondering the following: When do or what makes your "true colors" shine (for lack of a better phrase). When do you feel like your core is stimulated? This is the conclusion I have come to so far for myself:

1. When the opportunity to give presents itself: this could be when someone needs a leg-up financially, emotionally, professionally, etc. This is something that has been ingrained in me by my parents and grandparents. For example, my grandparents paid for the hospital bill during one of my mom's pregnancies. When my dad contested, my grampa simply explained that this was an opportunity for him to give. He didn't want to be paid back but instead wanted my parents to help another person in the same way when the time came. And pass the deed on from there.

2. When I'm jogging: I become the most stubborn individual when I'm jogging. If I have a set destination in mind before the cool-down, I MUST reach it...no excuses. It's a little nutty, the thoughts that go through my head when feeling like I want to stop jogging. It's probably a good thing that no one can read my mind. Under no circumstances will I allow myself to stop jogging to rest a few minutes and then start again. In my determined mind, that's a cop out.

3. When I feel ripped off or like some injustice has been done: I magically become assertive in these situations. I suddenly have no problem speaking my mind and letting the other person know that I won't settle for bullshit. Right is right. LB, remember that time in JCPenny's with the gift card?

Anyways, what about you?

First Full Week = Success

I don't have much to report other than the fact that this week has, overall, gone amazingly well at school. I hit a couple rough spots, but I am really optimistic about the students' behavior this year. So far, I've been able to start out firm which is something I didn't do last year.

And my sister, Laura, is coming to visit her friend in Jacksonville this weekend, but we will get to spend some time together. I can't wait to pick her up from the airport!!!

Top 3 for the week:
1. I asked my kindergarteners what an artist's job is. One little girl said, "They make sculptures!" which totally blew me away.

2. As I was leaving work last night, a co-worker needed her car jump-started. Thankfully, I had just dealt with my battery needing jumped so I was able to help her promptly. I suppose things do happen for a reason.

3. My cousin, Katie, sent me a picture of her son, Luke, holding an over-sized clothespin after my previous "Unspectacular Quirks" post. Katie, that made my flippin' day :)

Have a look see

I feel obligated to fulfill the duties tagged upon me by kitkat, so here goes. I'm not sure all of these would be considered "quirky".

6 Unspectacular Quirks:

1. I still wear my post-braces retainer from the 10th grade. No, it is not the same exact retainer, but he point is that I still wear one every night. It makesth me feel vewy foolisth sthometimesth.

2. I have a thing for over-sized, everyday objects. I think it all started with being exposed to Claes Oldenburg's sculptures. They're so cheesy, but I love them. I currently want some over-sized clothespins for my classroom.

3. The only time I comb my hair is when I'm in the shower. Why brush curly hair when you don't have to? Well, maybe other people think it needs brushed. Oh well.

4. I am awful at maintaining CDs. They are horribly scratched because I just don't care enough to put them away. Even if I buy a new CD and vow to myself that I will keep it in perfect condition, it normally ends up in the pile of CDs in my middle console.

5. I still use my fingers to count while adding and subtracting.

6. I'm anal about how dishes are placed in the dishwasher or in my case, the drying rack. If someone did it "wrong", I will re-organize it by size, shape, color, whatever.

LB, RamseyDays, SurvivinginSafetyHarbor, FamilyLifewithElevenKids!, CoffeeTimes...it's your turn.

Here are the directions:
1. Link the person who tagged you
2. Mention the rules on your blog
3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them & leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they have been tagged.

Ball o' Stress

I suppose it all started with the dream I had last night. In it, I was attending my yoga class (which I haven't been to for 2 weeks); because I got there early, I laid out my mat and towel to save my spot. I walked out of the studio for about 5 minutes to take care of some registration issue/payment, and upon returning, there was some man using my mat and towel. Now, if you've ever done power vinyasa yoga, you know that you sweat profusely. Sharing a mat is not really an option. I explained to this imposter that he was using my mat and that he needed to move somewhere else. He had already sweat several puddles on my mat and the surrounding floor area. He refused to move and responded with a juvenile, "Well, you weren't here. YOU find another place". Argh! But this was MY STUFF! I kept on about it but he continued to refuse to move and instead just laid down so that there was no way I could move my mat. I remember feeling extremely aggravated and annoyed in my dream. I was baffled as to how this grown person was acting so childish and inconsiderate. How dare he invade not only my personal space/posessions, but also the one thing that I truly felt was mine: practicing yoga. I also remember not wanting to cause a scene.

And today was my first day of classes with my students. I have a killer schedule...and I don't mean "killer" like "awesome", I mean killer like "deadly":) Between 8:45am and 1:25pm, I see 6 different classes non-stop, give or take a 5 minute break in between. Lunch isn't until 1:25, and then I have 1st grade at the end of the day. As the chairperson of the scheduling committee, I am responsible, mostly, for the resource schedule this year. But I don't recall it being that loony. I don't recall NOT having planning time at all. I'm wondering where/when the change occurred. Alas, I am not the administration and they have the final say on what goes and what doesn't. I am truly hoping that I will adjust. It does make the day fly, though.

Though today went well with my students, I have to say I'm feeling a little down. And I can't put my finger on "why" exactly. Maybe it's because I've spent all summer being hyped-up about how great this year will be and then I was incredibly nervous today. Maybe it's because I've set really high expectations for myself and my students and am putting the pressure on too strong. Maybe it's because the new vice principal makes me really uneasy. Or maybe it's because some doofus is using my yoga mat without permission and sweating all over it.

Whatever the reason, please send me some uplifting vibes. Lord knows, I need 'em.

Anticlimactic

Fay + first week of school = 2 days of school, 3 days off, and some heavy wind and rain.

As my dad said, "I've seen thunderstorms worse than this!", and as Lt. Dan says on Forest Gump, "You call this a storm?!?!" I must admit that I am happy about the 3 days off this week. I spent so much time during pre-planning making my room look presentable (not to toot my own horn, but my room looks pretty awesome this year) and helping with other things around the school that my actual lesson planning suffered. This gives me the time I need to really get it organized. On the other hand, I have yet to see my students. Resource was supposed to begin on Wednesday. I had all this excited/nervous energy built up for that day and then poof, it's gone. I'm sure it'll all come back on Monday.

I'm at a loss over what else to write about....being in the house so much over the past three days has made my brain like jelly. I'm resorting to a "Likes" and "Dislikes" list...

Likes:
-birthday cake flavored ice cream with multi-colored sprinkles
-objects that are oversized (like jumbo clothespins, paperclips, or calculators. I know, it's weird).
-the color green
-this artist's work
-staying up late and sleeping in
-goldendoodles
-journals without lines

Dislikes:
-okra
-rude retail workers
-Hummers (and possibly the people who drive them)
-the sound of plastic bags rustling
-cockroaches
-Cameron Diaz
-gloomy weather (I don't know how you northerners do it)

How do you know the summer is really and truly over?

Two things:

1. Today was my last, official day of summer break.

2. Remember the Nickelodeon television series, "The Adventures of Pete and Pete"? I'd like to recall one part of a particular episode where Artie and little Pete beat up the ocean because they're upset that summer is over. This pretty much describes how I feel about the break ending. You can watch this from the beginning up to minute 1:45 to understand what I'm talking about.

"The future is no place to place your better days."

My yoga practice today was rough, more from a mental than a physical standpoint. Within the hour, I only felt truly present for maybe a whole 2 minutes. This showed in my posture; I was wobbling all over the place, losing balance, falling. When I resumed my practice on Tuesday (after the week-long visit home), it almost felt "easy". I left the studio deciding that I was ready to push myself to the next level...stretch a little farther, widen the base, hold longer. So that's what I did the next day and it felt great to up the ante. But today made me feel like I'd taken 5 steps backwards. I suppose I have much weighing in my mind. Still, I can normally focus on the "now" for the majority of the hour.

One really great thing happened though at the close of our session. After our Shavasana we end each class with 3 "Om" chants. Before doing this, the instructor told us to keep our eyes closed and truly feel the energy of the others in the room. Before I knew it, I had goosebumps all over my body; it was this amazing rush of...something...I'm not sure what to call it. No, I wasn't cold---the room is 90 degrees, remember? Anyways, it happened a couple times within the space between Shavasana and our Oms. I felt present then, and almost like crying.

I want to go again tomorrow and see what a Saturday class is like. Hopefully, I'll be more focused.

Being read to

I'm feeling a little brain dead. Maybe it's my constant fluctuation between being excited about the new school year but disappointed that my abundance of "free time" is coming to an end. Maybe it's because I painted a little today but feel like I don't know what I'm doing. Or maybe it's because within the past few days, I have listened to two James Patterson novels via audio-book, each one about 7 discs long, each one a murder/mystery/thriller, each one keeping me good and awake during my travels to April's wedding, and then to and from work.

I admit it: I used to get so annoyed when I'd plop in the car with my dad and he'd have some audio-book blaring, right smack in the middle of it, with me having no idea what was going on and not wanting to know and him in another world, listening intently to every detail. But now I can say that I understand the appeal of listening to books while driving. It literally makes the time fly by and it's entertaining. That being said, I have to acknowledge that I can't give James Patterson two thumbs up. His stories are very predictable in every way possible...even down to the aesthetic descriptions; each one is just as cheesy as the last. It's always something like, "He felt the warm breeze caress his face, and it reminded him of happier days with Christine, when she would cup his cheeks in her hands." You get the idea. As my friend April says, it makes you want to write things like "Gag me!" or "What crap!" in the margin. Only, you can't inscribe such things into an audio book.

Speaking of April, it was so great to see her last weekend. The last time we visited was during a show in Soho that featured some of my Italy paintings. That was over a year ago. One of the many things I love about April is that no matter how long its been, since seeing or talking to each other, I feel that our connection never wavers. It's similar to visiting family; you pick up in the present and there's no need for "I'm so sorry I haven't called/written" etc. The wedding was very low-key yet elegant and beautiful. It felt calm and comfortable. April, being the sensitive and wonderful person that she is, made everyone feel very much a part of the day. She customized the bridesmaids' bouquets by selecting different flowers for each of us based on symbolism with our personalities. Her bouquet was composed of all of our flowers (how cool!!). Come to think of it, she customized everything making it all very welcoming, unique, and just very "April" :) Anyways, it was great to get to know her family and friends and to be a part of her and Jonathan's day.
Much more to write about my visit home. Until then.

Trivial

Some things that have been on my mind lately, most of which I don't understand and most of which are trivial:

1. Why and how RadioShack is still in business. I'm not seeing the demand for a store that solely sells electronics and a Mickey Mouse phone here and there. Oh, and it has always been my experience, no matter what store or in what state, that the employees are annoyingly sarcastic...as opposed to funny sarcastic. They truly are the poster child for "Sarcasm is just one more free service we offer".

2. How athletes can complete a triatholon (particularly in the Olympic trials) without dying. Swimming to biking to running without stopping, ever?? Madness.

3. Joan Rivers' face.

4. Why Red Robin advertises in Florida when they have no locations here...same goes for Jack in the Box or as LB calls it, Death in the Box.

5. Why there are an abundance of nail places, sometimes more than one per plaza.

6. The fact that esurance.com advertises that because they are an online business entity, they are environmental...because they don't use paper.

7. Tyra Banks' show = a TV version of a tabloid.

That's all...fow now. Feel free to add.

The SRQ

I'm spending a few days visiting my parents before heading up to Hernando for April's wedding events this weekend. It's nice to be home and it's nice to be at a point in my life where I relate to my mom and dad not only as "parents" but also as people/friends/lifelong companions. I've felt this way about my relationship with my parents for a few years now, but the excitement of this aspect of our relationship never ceases to be refreshing. And I am exceedingly thankful. I spend most of the day-time with my mom (the morning person) and most of the evening/late night with my dad (Mr. John-Bauer-time. Go here if you want more info on JB time).

Yesterday, Mom and I spent hours sipping coffee and mulling over the woes of the education system (or issues at our respective schools), coming up with solutions, and laughing about some of the bullshit that occurs. We didn't change the problems of the world, but it felt good to get it all out on the table. I spent another 2 hrs. picking her brain over classroom procedures for my students this coming year. I have faith that my new plans will work, but sometimes I start to worry about this coming year...I cannot have a repeat of last year, student-behavior-wise, for their sake and for mine. I am hoping that having one year of teaching under my belt will make me more prepared. I suppose I need to tell the Capricorn in me to shut-up when it comes to expecting absolute perfection, especially in a classroom of 20+ students. Don't get me wrong, I expect great things and strive for that, but everything won't be wonderful all the time.

Anyways, that's it for now.

ps-does anyone understand the "Q" in "SRQ"? There are no areas in Sarasota County that start with a Q.

In Passing

While riding my bike around the beaches yesterday, I came across a garage sale in Ponte Vedra so I stopped to take a look. I noticed a lot of painting supplies for sale and asked the lady attending to the items who it all belonged to. She introduced me to her daughter who used to be a painting student at UNF, so we started talking about professors and whatnot. We studied under many of the same. The impression I got was that this girl has stopped painting (thus the selling of the supplies); I wanted to ask why but figured that would be nosy. Anyways, I came away with a few items either I or my students can use for still-life AND she gave me (FOR FREE) a sweet drawing table! It is adjustable so that you can lay the drawing surface flat or at an angle. Flippin' awesome.

Speaking of not painting, that's something I haven't done this summer as much as anticipated. My mental reason for not painting has switched from "Ahhhh! I don't know what to paint! I'm having a block!" to "Meh, I don't really feel like it". Fear to Laziness (both equal forms of resistance). I started a series several weeks ago. Two of them are shown below and the third is still sitting on my easel halfway there. I can't really put my finger on what this is all about at this point in time. I normally have a better idea of what a series means or doesn't mean after I have "completed" it. I have inklings of where this is going or what it is based on, but it is still fluid. I suppose interpretations are always fluid.
I'm not expecting anyone to critique these but if you have a comment, have at it. They're posted here more for my own records.

Read me.

I was going to rant and rave about this book and how much I love it, but I've decided not to. And then I was going to talk about my spirituality at this point in my life (maybe in another post, at a later date). But I am too tired to do either of those things. I will say that this is one of the best books I have read in a while AND that if you are interested in reading a semi-autobiographical book about a woman who gets divorced, suffers from major depression and anxiety, travels to Italy, India, and Indonesia in pursuit of pleasure, devotion, and love, then have at it.

I know this is a really sorry excuse for a post, but I'm at a loss for what to write about at this moment.

In short, read this book. It's pretty flippin' sweet.